So, i usually have a day or so in a week where i get this overwhelming sense that i have achieved nothing and recently maybe more than once or twice a week. The problem i think is somewhere between dealing with excessive dysphoria that is only getting worse and having the overwhelming desire to live an extraordinary life. Becoming a women mind and body is a slow process and i am taking baby steps, but the mental issues of dysphoria combined with an attached inferiority complex and having an the constant sense that i am not achieving anything… I will call that lighting the fuse for my depression and anxiety time bomb. So in short, my head was fucked and still is. Then i remember why i wanted to write this stuff, someone else might learn from my being ridiculous and not dealing with at least some of my plethora of issues sooner. Moral of the story, problems don’t just go away when left alone. I might be back a while. Be patient with me, i am a mess and i am trying to find a way to get better. I am trying my best to find the guts to resolve my shit.